You’d think that here on KO the closed guard is seen as a relic from the past. A reminder of a simpler time when people weren’t enlightened to the power of the lapel.

That is not true at all. Closed guard is still very effective and efficient. You just need to understand it better than the person trying to get out of it. If you suffer from the condition known as closedguardis suckis, then you should know that the doctor is prescribing this course.